Children’s Books about Life with the Elderly

Sometimes it’s fun to explore a theme through different books. A while ago, I composed my thoughts on a selection of children’s books that have the theme of “Life with the Elderly”. Whether a grandparent is moving in or there are elderly people in the community, children will cross paths with someone who is “a little bit older”. While this can be a great blessing all around, sometimes children don’t know or feel unsure of how to relate to the elderly. I can empathize because I struggled with this even when I wasn’t so young. Perhaps these books could give someone else a lift in the right direction!

Grandma’s Attic series by Arleta Richardson

Here is a collection of stories to inspire children to seek out tales from those who are a little bit older. With each chapter, venture into a new story passed down to Arleta Richardson by her grandmother Mabel. Be prepared to laugh and learn along the way as Mabel and her best friend Sarah Jane grow up in Michigan over a hundred years ago. Parents will also discover good talking points about the issues Mabel encounters.

I first read these stories when I was about nine years old and later read many of them to a girl I babysat for years. We both loved them! The tales are not only laugh-aloud funny but also truly priceless thanks to the distinctively Christian way in which Grandmother Mabel shares them. (The older editions of this book have larger print. If that is a concern, you can still find them on ebay or Amazon.) 

The Cul-da-sac Kids and the Great TV Turnoff by Beverly Lewis

In this book from the Cul-da-sac Kids series, Eric comes up with a big idea: Maybe the Cul-da-sac Kids should join National TY-Turnoff Week! But when everyone decides to join in, going without TV turns out to be a lot harder than Eric thought. 

Thankfully, his Grandpa, who lives with Eric and his mom, comes to the rescue. Eric’s family also reaches out to the elderly man who lives at the end of the street…with surprising results! 

This chapter book is engaging for young readers and models healthy relationships with older family and community members. And, let’s admit, a little inspiration to go without TV could be a good thing for all of us!

My Own Grandpa by Leone Castell Anderson

Little Andrew has two problems: He is lonely, and he wishes for a nearby Grandpa who could do special things with him. Then his mother takes him to Green Meadows Manor. There Andrew meets people who are all just a little bit older, including Mr. William Barker. You can guess this story’s happy ending.

Although it is not explicitly Christian, I like this Little Golden Book for several reasons. First of all, the story illustrates how children need older people in their lives and vice versa. Then it shows children how to act around the elderly (e.g. Andrew tries to start a conversation and shakes Mr. Barker’s hand when they meet). However, it also recognizes that older people may appear scary to children at first. Lastly, My Own Grandpa demonstrates creative problem solving as Andrew’s mother takes her lonely little boy to meet other lonely people and finds a man who could be like his own Grandpa. 

The Boxcar Children #4 Mystery Ranch & The Boxcar Children #54 Hurricane Mystery by Gertrude Chandler Warner

In The Boxcar Children #4 Mystery Ranch, Jesse and Violet head west to care for their Great-Aunt Jane whose health is dwindling and whose contrary nature is driving her housekeeper crazy. At first, Aunt Jane is unfriendly and uncooperative, but Jesse and Violet’s resourcefulness and kindness yield eventually happy results. As in all Boxcar Children adventures, a mystery develops and soon Henry and Benny join the girls at Mystery Ranch to help solve the case! 

The Hurricane Mystery (#54 in The Boxcar Children series) finds Henry, Jesse, Violet and Benny on Sullivans Island off the coast of South Carolina. They are there to help an elderly friend of Grandfather Alden’s, Mrs. Ashleigh, repair her home after a hurricane. But what is so special about the gate in front of Mrs. Ashleigh’s house? Could there be some connection to the stories of pirates’ buried treasure? With another hurricane on its way, will the four children be able to solve the mystery in time and will Mrs. Ashleigh be able to keep her home?

While the Boxcar Children’s adventures are not explicitly Christian, these two do reflect an active care both in and beyond one’s own family for those who are just a little bit older. In Mystery Ranch readers can see one picture of what it might be like caring for an (at first) less-than-cooperative elderly person. Mrs. Ashleigh in The Hurricane Mystery is a contrast to Great-Aunt Jane (the grumpy Great-Aunt Jane, that is) because Mrs. Ashleigh herself is very active and engaged in her community, but she still needs help after her home is damaged and the Aldens’ active compassion for her is worthy of imitation. The book also deals with an issue many elderly people face: Mrs. Ashleigh’s son wants her to move out of her home while she doesn’t want to at all! (After seeing how supported she is by her community, her son apologizes and decides she can stay in her own home.) The mystery elements keep the story going. I recommend these two as books that you can talk about with children.

Grandma’s Moving In! by Stephanie M. Cone

This picture book is a delightful tool for showing young children how they can be a blessing in many little ways to their grandparents and other older people. It is especially helpful for families who are in the midst of a grandparent moving in. The Christian perspective and sensitive spirit behind it make it a story worthy of a place on your bookshelf. 

There you go! Why not visit the library or the Kindle store, and settle in with a favorite little one to share these stories together?


 

Your turn! What resources do you use to teach children how to act around the older people in their lives? Or, if you are “a little bit older”, are there things you wish children knew that could help you all get along better?

When Cousin Agatha Comes Calling: Tips for Dealing with Difficult Relatives over the Holidays

When Cousin Agatha practically invites herself to the O’Dell family’s Thanksgiving, most of them welcome her. What could possibly be bad about letting a solitary old woman into your home, right?

The holidays are known for surprises. In the O’Dells case, the surprise of Cousin Agatha isn’t so sweet. 

By the end of Thanksgiving dinner, Mabel O’Dell and her family are worn out by Cousin Agatha’s demanding ways. Then she announces that she thinks she’ll stay until Christmas!

As Mabel confides in her friend Sarah Jane, she’s pretty sure that if Cousin Agatha stays, she herself will “just die,” [1] rather than live that long with this woman who wants to see everyone else working but won’t lift a finger herself.

Have you ever been in Mabel’s shoes? For all the wonderful wonders of the Christmas season, it is also sometimes a wonder that many of us have to face our most challenging relatives during this season that is heralded as a time of joy and peace.

How do you handle them without losing your mind? 

I think the story of “Cousin Agatha” by Arleta Richardson offers some helpful tips.

  1. Take one day at a time. For Mabel O’Dell, looking ahead to a whole month of Cousin Agatha is unbearable. Her mother offers some sound advice. “The Lord only sends us one day at a time…Don’t worry about more than that. When the other days arrive, you’ll probably find out you worried about all the wrong things.” She has a good point, right? If you don’t think you can stand a week with Uncle Arnold, just make it through day by day. Something else I’ve learned is that the middle of any stretch of time is almost always the hardest, whether it’s five days or a month. Once you make it through the middle, you can usually make it to the end.
  2. Don’t feel compelled to cater to their every whim or want. When Cousin Agatha complains about poor old Pep the dog coming into the house to escape the winter chill, Ma doesn’t flap her apron and make him trot out the door. She calmly explains the situation and lets Cousin Agatha grumble to herself. The tricky part is to continue both keeping your cool and standing your ground. It’s good to remember that one of the most loving two-letter words you can say to someone might very well be “no” if it’s said in a loving way.
  3. Speaking of love, why not love your unpleasant relations “to death”? While Mabel’s friend Sarah Jane suggests that she herself might consider giving Cousin Agatha a little encouragement to leave, Mabel remembers her dad’s view that “Christian love is the best solution.” Sarah Jane’s response? “All right, then…Love her to death.” Okay, so that may sound a little paradoxical, but I think it illuminates an interesting fact: Sometimes we can love people to the point that their crabby, Scrooge-ish ways just lay down and die. Of course, that’s a lot easier said than done.
  4. One thing that might help is to try to understand where they’re coming from. Of course, some people are just creepy, but othen times there are reasons beneath the ice. Maybe that grandparent who acts like an unchanged Grinch isn’t a Christian? Well, don’t expect him to act like one! What if your mother-in-law had a terrible childhood? Acknowledging in your own head how hard that could be might give you an extra ounce of compassion. Is your brother super-stressed over his job (or lack thereof)? imagine if you were in his shoes. In Mabel’s case, she thankfully gets a little help from a snowstorm.

When Cousin Agatha has to face the fact that something – the snow  that’s snowing them in – is outside of her control, it rocks her world. Mabel is then able to see a little glimmer of the inside Cousin Agatha – a lonely, insecure old woman.

Then a remarkable thing happens.

Mabel gives this female Scrooge a hug and a peck on the cheek.

What is really remarkable is Cousin Agatha’s response, “That’s the first time anyone has hugged me since I can remember. Do you really like me, Mabel?”

Ah, now we see. Cousin Agatha may not be a very nice person, but it’s not all without reason. Imagine not being able to remember the last time you got a hug! Having lived in a Latin American culture where we give hugs (and kisses on the cheek!) all the time, I think not being able to remember your last hug would be sad indeed. 

It’s a good reminder, isn’t it? Perhaps lathering on the kindness and concern – like a little kid putting frosting on a gingerbread man – could very well change the whole person into a new creation. (Frosting certainly can do astounding things to gingerbread men!)

In Cousin Agatha’s case, we aren’t given the rest of the story. That is, we don’t know whether Cousin Agatha really does change or whether she sinks back into her self-centered gloom. We don’t get to see how the O’Dells’ Christmas turns out.

That might be just as well. After all, Christians aren’t called to change people. That’s God’s business! (Insert sigh of relief, right?) We’re “just” responsible for loving them. (John 15:12)

I’m a little nervous writing this post because it seems that whenever we mere mortals try to encourage others to “do well”, God gives us opportunities to practice it ourselves. What if next week a crotchety old aunt whom I’ve never met appears on my doorstep and wants to stay until Easter? Gulp! Maybe you should pray for me extra…

Personal concerns aside, I hope these tips give you a little boost with your holiday season. And if you like the snippets of “Cousin Agatha” by Arleta Richardson, you may want to check out all the short stories collected in Treasures from Grandma’s Attic.


 

1 Unless otherwise noted, all quotes are taken from Arleta Richardson’s Treasures from Grandma (Colorado Springs: Chariot Victor Publishing, a division of Cook Communications, 1984).

A School of Her Own: Bringing History and Heart Together

I gazed around the room one more time. The teacher’s bell, the hooks for hanging lunch pails, the well-used desks and the well-loved McGuffeys. Even though I was heading toward new adventures, it was hard to say goodbye.

We had shared quite a bit of history, this room and I. Once I was a little girl who sat at a little desk and used a slate pencil. Back then, I thought it would be pretty awesome to be a teacher with a school just like this. Why not? I had read about it in books like the Little House series or the Boxcar Children’s Schoolhouse Mystery. But there was a problem: I was in a century that wasn’t very one-room school friendly.

Then, in a snap and a whirl, I grew up and found myself behind the teacher’s desk of that place of childhood dreams. And a roomful of students gazed back at me!

Yes, I had become the one-room school teacher at the living history museum. Children came by the busload to learn about life in bygone days. You can imagine the fun of ringing the bell as various-sized students propelled themselves in my direction. 

However, there would be no running into my school “like a herd of pigs headed for the trough.”[1] At my instruction, the students lined up with girls on one side and boys on the other. Then they walked in, took their seats,
and we began our lessons. IMG_9295

Looking back, I felt quite a bit like Mabel O’Dell welcoming students in A School of Her Own. At eighteen, Mabel finds herself teaching in a one-room school in Michigan, dodging a vicious goat, grading papers, getting lost in a blizzard, dealing with the challenges that come with a classroom and a small town, and learning about the Lord. Inspired by the life of and stories from the author’s grandmother, this book brings history and heart together.

What is the point of bringing history and heart together? It’s about making history alive with real people who faced real problems and had real stories. It takes the facts (which are important) and goes beyond them to the relationships. I think that sums up what I hoped to share with my students in my one-room school. With the groups, I had only fifteen minutes (or less) to do it. Talk about a challenge! My history manual and older folks who had attended one-room schools or taught in them were my best resources for true stories to put a sparkle on the facts. Sometimes I think I may have shared more of the fun stories – like the skiing to school and the recess games – and given a somewhat sunshiny picture of life back then. However, I know I tried to communicate facts like how school children really had to work hard to help their families. A School of Her Own  balances the fun with the realities that people were still sinners and life definitely had its hard moments in the 19th century just like in the 21st. 

So there I stood in my school, admiring all the familiar details. To think I had come so very close to being a real one-room school teacher! While I hadn’t faced life-changing decisions with surprising answers quite like Mabel, I had learned, as I suppose many teachers do, as much as I had taught in that room. It was now part of my history, and it was definitely part of my heart. I hope sharing the story brings it to others’ hearts as well, maybe even yours. 

 

If you’d like to read all about Mabel O’Dell’s escapades and learn about life for a one-room school teacher, check out A School of Her Own by Arleta Richardson. Perhaps you’ll even decide to visit a one-room school! Whether you read or visit, I’d love to hear your thoughts on bringing history and heart together. Note: As I mentioned, the book does touch on some of the more complicated issues of life. Parents may want to check it over before handing it to young readers. 

Special thanks to my childhood friends Katie and Ann S. who, I think, introduced me to Arleta Richardson’s books. I guess you never know what a book recommendation might bring about! 

1 Arleta Richardson, A School of Her Own, Grandma’s Attic Novels (Colorado Springs: Cook Communications Ministries, 1986), 49.