Tag: family

Grandparents Day

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Grandparents Day is September 10th! Here are some ideas of how to celebrate and make it a “storyful” day. (Think of the acronym T.E.L.L.) 

  1. Take time to be together. This may look like reading a picture book together or it may look like talking over cups of coffee or chatting over the phone. A truth is time is one gift none of us can ever get back or get more of and so when we share it with someone, we are, in a sense, sharing one of our most valuable treasures.
  2. Enjoy something yummy together. What’s your favorite treat? Chocolate chip cookies? Ice cream? Whatever it is, enjoy it together. The smells and tastes of our favorite foods are often connected to sweet memories that make for great stories. 
  3. Look back at the past together. Grandparents are a living connection to history, a real gift to grandchildren. Why not look back over family photo albums, visit a local historical site, or watch a history-focused show together? However you do it, ask questions, share stories and listen. Sometimes grandparents are shy of talking about the past. We obviously don’t need to know or share everything and can let some topics stay silent. But an encouragement for grandparents is that their stories may be just what a grandchild needs to be inspired and connected. Many of us these days need new connections, not only to people but also to hope. And stories from previous generations about overcoming struggles, seeing how life’s pieces came together and learning lessons may be the best way to give those connections. 
  4. Laugh together. It’s been said that “A cheerful heart is good medicine” (Proverbs 17:22, NIV), so in your “storyful” day silly stories and jokes are welcome! 

May you have a blessed and “storyful” day!

P.S. What if you don’t have grandparents with whom to celebrate? Well, like Andrew in My Own Grandpa by Leone Castell Anderson you may find an older person who needs a “grandchild”, too.

For a few recommended children’s books about life with the elderly, see this post. 

Photo credit: Adobe Stock. 

4 Books for Dads and Kids to Read Together

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Looking back, some of the greatest influences on my life were the books my dad read to me. Those nighttime hours with their giggles, gasps and pleas of “Just a little more!” are also some of my most treasured memories. 

I know not everyone has a father who read aloud and that not all dads are readers. That’s why I hope a handful of suggested stories could inspire a few fathers, grandfathers, uncles and older brothers to tuck the little ones in or gather them close, turn on a mellow light and open the pages of an adventure. And, don’t forget, the kids could even read to the grown-ups!

Here are my “4 Books for Dads and Kids to Read Together”

Little Britches: Father and I Were Ranchers by Ralph Moody – Hold onto your hats – your cowboy hats, that is! – as you head to Colorado with you51LPv60V6jL._SX324_BO1,204,203,200_ng Ralph Moody and his family. Life is rough in the west at the beginning of the 20th century, but Ralph faces obstacles with admirable pluck. While your eyes might shimmer over the losses the Moody family faces in their new home, you will also laugh together at the wild adventures of hardworking Ralph. But be warned, you might just have to read the rest of the series to find out what happens…and you might end up with a bunkhouse full of little cowpokes on your hands!

 

The Chronicles o44280f Narnia by C.S. Lewis – Ok, yes, this is actually seven books instead of one, but they kind of go together…Could you find a better adventure to embark on together than exploring the land of Narnia? Along the way, you can all grow to appreciate the literary skill of one of England’s finest authors. a man who thought deep but cared enough about children to write well and understandably. Ponder the lessons and legacy of the series together. I have a clear memory of my dad pointing out a certain character to illustrate the kind of guy who would make a good date! 

Flight of the Fugitives (from the Trailblazer Series) by Dave and Neta Jackson – I picked this book as an example of the engaging historical fiction that c51BckAEa5bLan make for great shared story times. I haven’t read Flight of the Fugitives in quite some time, but I remember the story of missionary Gladys Aylward. This kind of book can introduce readers to people and places that would otherwise lie unknown. It can help us to better understand the world in which we live as we get to know people who have gone before us and cultures different from our own. Books like this can definitely lead to cries of “Just one more chapter! Please!”

13221561_1627566167563366_9125659327019340017_nThe Bible – Obvious? Perhaps. Yet – on the off chance it isn’t – I had to list this Book of Books. Not a book for bedtime to hold the attention of young ones? Well, you need not start with Lamentations! Try one of the Gospels (Matthew, Mark, Luke or John) or a Psalm like Psalm 139. The Bible has been labeled “the Book our mothers read” (John Greenleaf Whittier). I hope it will also be the Book that our fathers (and grandfathers, uncles and older brothers) read with those they hold close to their hearts. 

Of course, there are so many other wonderful books out there. (Ideas for forthcoming posts a-brewing…) For now, may these four titles give you ideas. Imagine someday that a little one you read to might be looking back on lessons learned and times treasured like I am now. Happy reading! 

Your Turn: Did your parents read to you? What were some of the books you enjoyed most as a child? Or which books do you enjoy reading to children now? 

Children’s Books about Life with the Elderly

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Sometimes it’s fun to explore a theme through different books. A while ago, I composed my thoughts on a selection of children’s books that have the theme of “Life with the Elderly”. Whether a grandparent is moving in or there are elderly people in the community, children will cross paths with someone who is “a little bit older”. While this can be a great blessing all around, sometimes children don’t know or feel unsure of how to relate to the elderly. I can empathize because I struggled with this even when I wasn’t so young. Perhaps these books could give someone else a lift in the right direction!

Grandma’s Attic series by Arleta Richardson

Here is a collection of stories to inspire children to seek out tales from those who are a little bit older. With each chapter, venture into a new story passed down to Arleta Richardson by her grandmother Mabel. Be prepared to laugh and learn along the way as Mabel and her best friend Sarah Jane grow up in Michigan over a hundred years ago. Parents will also discover good talking points about the issues Mabel encounters.

I first read these stories when I was about nine years old and later read many of them to a girl I babysat for years. We both loved them! The tales are not only laugh-aloud funny but also truly priceless thanks to the distinctively Christian way in which Grandmother Mabel shares them. (The older editions of this book have larger print. If that is a concern, you can still find them on ebay or Amazon.) 

The Cul-da-sac Kids and the Great TV Turnoff by Beverly Lewis

In this book from the Cul-da-sac Kids series, Eric comes up with a big idea: Maybe the Cul-da-sac Kids should join National TY-Turnoff Week! But when everyone decides to join in, going without TV turns out to be a lot harder than Eric thought. 

Thankfully, his Grandpa, who lives with Eric and his mom, comes to the rescue. Eric’s family also reaches out to the elderly man who lives at the end of the street…with surprising results! 

This chapter book is engaging for young readers and models healthy relationships with older family and community members. And, let’s admit, a little inspiration to go without TV could be a good thing for all of us!

My Own Grandpa by Leone Castell Anderson

Little Andrew has two problems: He is lonely, and he wishes for a nearby Grandpa who could do special things with him. Then his mother takes him to Green Meadows Manor. There Andrew meets people who are all just a little bit older, including Mr. William Barker. You can guess this story’s happy ending.

Although it is not explicitly Christian, I like this Little Golden Book for several reasons. First of all, the story illustrates how children need older people in their lives and vice versa. Then it shows children how to act around the elderly (e.g. Andrew tries to start a conversation and shakes Mr. Barker’s hand when they meet). However, it also recognizes that older people may appear scary to children at first. Lastly, My Own Grandpa demonstrates creative problem solving as Andrew’s mother takes her lonely little boy to meet other lonely people and finds a man who could be like his own Grandpa. 

The Boxcar Children #4 Mystery Ranch & The Boxcar Children #54 Hurricane Mystery by Gertrude Chandler Warner

In The Boxcar Children #4 Mystery Ranch, Jesse and Violet head west to care for their Great-Aunt Jane whose health is dwindling and whose contrary nature is driving her housekeeper crazy. At first, Aunt Jane is unfriendly and uncooperative, but Jesse and Violet’s resourcefulness and kindness yield eventually happy results. As in all Boxcar Children adventures, a mystery develops and soon Henry and Benny join the girls at Mystery Ranch to help solve the case! 

The Hurricane Mystery (#54 in The Boxcar Children series) finds Henry, Jesse, Violet and Benny on Sullivans Island off the coast of South Carolina. They are there to help an elderly friend of Grandfather Alden’s, Mrs. Ashleigh, repair her home after a hurricane. But what is so special about the gate in front of Mrs. Ashleigh’s house? Could there be some connection to the stories of pirates’ buried treasure? With another hurricane on its way, will the four children be able to solve the mystery in time and will Mrs. Ashleigh be able to keep her home?

While the Boxcar Children’s adventures are not explicitly Christian, these two do reflect an active care both in and beyond one’s own family for those who are just a little bit older. In Mystery Ranch readers can see one picture of what it might be like caring for an (at first) less-than-cooperative elderly person. Mrs. Ashleigh in The Hurricane Mystery is a contrast to Great-Aunt Jane (the grumpy Great-Aunt Jane, that is) because Mrs. Ashleigh herself is very active and engaged in her community, but she still needs help after her home is damaged and the Aldens’ active compassion for her is worthy of imitation. The book also deals with an issue many elderly people face: Mrs. Ashleigh’s son wants her to move out of her home while she doesn’t want to at all! (After seeing how supported she is by her community, her son apologizes and decides she can stay in her own home.) The mystery elements keep the story going. I recommend these two as books that you can talk about with children.

Grandma’s Moving In! by Stephanie M. Cone

This picture book is a delightful tool for showing young children how they can be a blessing in many little ways to their grandparents and other older people. It is especially helpful for families who are in the midst of a grandparent moving in. The Christian perspective and sensitive spirit behind it make it a story worthy of a place on your bookshelf. 

There you go! Why not visit the library or the Kindle store, and settle in with a favorite little one to share these stories together?

 

Your turn! What resources do you use to teach children how to act around the older people in their lives? Or, if you are “a little bit older”, are there things you wish children knew that could help you all get along better?

A Love Story

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On Valentine’s Day, 1948 a young couple celebrated their wedding. One witness remarked that “not many are privileged to see such love and total giving on the faces of two people. I will never forget it.”* Little did the bride and groom know that sixty-eight years later, their story would be known the world over. 

I first “met” the groom Nate Saint through the pages of The Fate of the Yellow Woodbee by Dave and Neta Jackson, a book my dad read to me. Later, I discovered more about Nate when an excerpt from Jungle Pilot appeared in my school reading book. I savored that story and years later tracked it down to read it again. Combine those experiences with stories from my dad about working at a mission hospital in Ecuador, and Nate was stamped on my hero list!

However, it wasn’t until this past month that I actually read all of Jungle Pilot: The Gripping Story of the Life and Witness of Nate Saint, Martyred Missionary in Ecuador by Russel T. Hitt. It lives up to the “gripping” claim and is the perfect post for this week because the story of Nate Saint is a love story. Or maybe it’s actually a loves story. Let’s look at these “loves” one at a time.

Jungle Pilot is the story of a man who loved to bring others into his corner of the world through writing. “I don’t want to be a great writer but I long to express myself…I want to share the stories that are unfolding all around me. Mine would only be attempts, to be sure, but these attempts plus helpful criticism from others may help me eventually to be able to tell stories with the flavor that can only come from an eyewitness.” (pg. 11) This love poured itself onto letters, journal entries and articles. What a mercy that it did because these words eventually formed the structure of Jungle Pilot. 

Early on in Jungle Pilot, we see that Nate’s story is also the story of a man who loved flying. After his first experience behind the controls with his brother Sam, “he never could get enough of airplanes,” (pg. 46). Speaking from personal experience, it is a thrill to hold a plane’s controls! Nate possessed a keen mechanical ability as well. His sister-in-law once said, “I wearied of nuts and bolts for dinner,” of the dinner table conversations they shared (pg. 52). As Nate worked his way through Army Air Corp training, it seemed that he was made to be a pilot. Then – just as he was about to start flying – his childhood nemesis osteomyelitis returned. Although he stayed in the Army, he would never fly there. “I was heartbroken,” Nate reported (pg. 66) about his shattered dream. However, he soon got back on his feet. It’s a good thing he did, too, because within a few years, Nate found himself flying as much as he could. No, he wasn’t dodging or dropping bombs with the Army, but flying with Missionary Aviation Fellowship (MAF) had plenty of dangers lurking in short runways, unexpected downdrafts and more. Thankfully, he had people around him to help him bear the load of work and worry. Of those people, a few stand out, especially his family.

Undoubtedly, Jungle Pilot is the story of a man who loved his family dearly. You’ll have to read how Nate and Marj met for yourself. (God writes the best love stories, doesn’t He?) The love evident at their wedding only grew deeper with time. Once Nate wrote to Marj about their wedding: “If I had known you before as I know you now, I would have answered the preacher with a shout instead of a quiet ‘I do’.” (pg. 183) This real-life love extended to their children as seen in Nate’s response to the news that Kathy was born. (He was in Panama at the time for medical care while Marj was in Ecuador.) “Thank God for the wonderful news in the telegram…Honey, don’t be afraid to give that little gal lots of loving. She’ll need the practice for when her daddy gets home…I can hardly wait to see our precious baby.” (pg. 139). Later, Stevie, and Phil joined the family.  Amidst all the demands of pioneer missionary work, Nate made time for talking with his little ones, sharing Bible stories and praying with them (pg. 180).

But Nate’s love extended beyond his family making his story that of a man who loved others, even the unloved. He showed love for the the missionaries in his daily service as a pilot, mechanic, handyman and friend. He loved the native Ecuadorians and the Shell Oil workers as he used his skills to help them as well. Then his love reached beyond the jungle barriers to the unknown tribes, even the “Aucas” – known as killers – who could give him nothing in return. After his death, his wife Marj wrote to their children, “For a long time you children have prayed for the Aucas…Daddy would want you to love them and thank our heavenly Father that our prayers for these Indians are being answered,” (pg. 286).

Yes, Jungle Pilot is the story of a man who loved writing, flying, his family, and even strangers. Yet there is one more love left and it’s the greatest love of all. Jungle Pilot is the story of a man who both loved God and trusted God’s love. Of one life-threatening experience, Nate wrote, “I wasn’t afraid to die…And more important, I knew that God loved me like a son. The proof of His love was His real Son who suffered in my place on a Roman cross at Calvary,” (pg. 91). If you read Jungle Pilot, I think you will agree that it was this love that fueled everything else Nate did. This was the love that compelled him to say, “May His will be done,” (pg. 66) when he realized his Army pilot life was grounded. This was the love that inspired him to have engraved on his and Marj’s wedding bands Psalm 34:3: “O magnify the Lord with me, and let us exalt his name together.” It was this love that emboldened him to serve the missionaries under hazardous conditions to help them in “giving the Word of Life” (pg. 35). Lastly, it was this love that enabled him to live out this verse: “Greater love hath no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends,” (John 15:13, KJV) on January 8, 1956 when he gave up his life for the Aucas because “they too were men for whom Christ died.” (pg. 35)

There’s so much more I could say, so many stories I didn’t share. I hope you’ll get an opportunity to read Jungle Pilot for yourself and be able to feel like an eyewitness to Nate Saint’s story. May we all know what it is to love to do good things and to love people. Even more importantly, may we know the love that the heavenly Father has lavished on us – both on Valentine’s Day and every day – and may it be the fuel for everything else we do.  

If you would like to read Jungle Pilot, you can get both your own print copy AND audiobook version by making a donation of $10 or more to Missionary Aviation Fellowship (MAF) this month (for first-time donors).  

* Russel T. Hitt, Jungle Pilot: The Gripping Story of the Life and Witness of Nate Saint, Martyred Missionary in Ecuador, with an epilogue by Stephen F. Saint (Grand Rapids: Discovery House Publishers, 1997), 122. All quotations are taken from this book unless otherwise noted.

 

When Cousin Agatha Comes Calling: Tips for Dealing with Difficult Relatives over the Holidays

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When Cousin Agatha practically invites herself to the O’Dell family’s Thanksgiving, most of them welcome her. What could possibly be bad about letting a solitary old woman into your home, right?

The holidays are known for surprises. In the O’Dells case, the surprise of Cousin Agatha isn’t so sweet. 

By the end of Thanksgiving dinner, Mabel O’Dell and her family are worn out by Cousin Agatha’s demanding ways. Then she announces that she thinks she’ll stay until Christmas!

As Mabel confides in her friend Sarah Jane, she’s pretty sure that if Cousin Agatha stays, she herself will “just die,” [1] rather than live that long with this woman who wants to see everyone else working but won’t lift a finger herself.

Have you ever been in Mabel’s shoes? For all the wonderful wonders of the Christmas season, it is also sometimes a wonder that many of us have to face our most challenging relatives during this season that is heralded as a time of joy and peace.

How do you handle them without losing your mind? 

I think the story of “Cousin Agatha” by Arleta Richardson offers some helpful tips.

  1. Take one day at a time. For Mabel O’Dell, looking ahead to a whole month of Cousin Agatha is unbearable. Her mother offers some sound advice. “The Lord only sends us one day at a time…Don’t worry about more than that. When the other days arrive, you’ll probably find out you worried about all the wrong things.” She has a good point, right? If you don’t think you can stand a week with Uncle Arnold, just make it through day by day. Something else I’ve learned is that the middle of any stretch of time is almost always the hardest, whether it’s five days or a month. Once you make it through the middle, you can usually make it to the end.
  2. Don’t feel compelled to cater to their every whim or want. When Cousin Agatha complains about poor old Pep the dog coming into the house to escape the winter chill, Ma doesn’t flap her apron and make him trot out the door. She calmly explains the situation and lets Cousin Agatha grumble to herself. The tricky part is to continue both keeping your cool and standing your ground. It’s good to remember that one of the most loving two-letter words you can say to someone might very well be “no” if it’s said in a loving way.
  3. Speaking of love, why not love your unpleasant relations “to death”? While Mabel’s friend Sarah Jane suggests that she herself might consider giving Cousin Agatha a little encouragement to leave, Mabel remembers her dad’s view that “Christian love is the best solution.” Sarah Jane’s response? “All right, then…Love her to death.” Okay, so that may sound a little paradoxical, but I think it illuminates an interesting fact: Sometimes we can love people to the point that their crabby, Scrooge-ish ways just lay down and die. Of course, that’s a lot easier said than done.
  4. One thing that might help is to try to understand where they’re coming from. Of course, some people are just creepy, but othen times there are reasons beneath the ice. Maybe that grandparent who acts like an unchanged Grinch isn’t a Christian? Well, don’t expect him to act like one! What if your mother-in-law had a terrible childhood? Acknowledging in your own head how hard that could be might give you an extra ounce of compassion. Is your brother super-stressed over his job (or lack thereof)? imagine if you were in his shoes. In Mabel’s case, she thankfully gets a little help from a snowstorm.

When Cousin Agatha has to face the fact that something – the snow  that’s snowing them in – is outside of her control, it rocks her world. Mabel is then able to see a little glimmer of the inside Cousin Agatha – a lonely, insecure old woman.

Then a remarkable thing happens.

Mabel gives this female Scrooge a hug and a peck on the cheek.

What is really remarkable is Cousin Agatha’s response, “That’s the first time anyone has hugged me since I can remember. Do you really like me, Mabel?”

Ah, now we see. Cousin Agatha may not be a very nice person, but it’s not all without reason. Imagine not being able to remember the last time you got a hug! Having lived in a Latin American culture where we give hugs (and kisses on the cheek!) all the time, I think not being able to remember your last hug would be sad indeed. 

It’s a good reminder, isn’t it? Perhaps lathering on the kindness and concern – like a little kid putting frosting on a gingerbread man – could very well change the whole person into a new creation. (Frosting certainly can do astounding things to gingerbread men!)

In Cousin Agatha’s case, we aren’t given the rest of the story. That is, we don’t know whether Cousin Agatha really does change or whether she sinks back into her self-centered gloom. We don’t get to see how the O’Dells’ Christmas turns out.

That might be just as well. After all, Christians aren’t called to change people. That’s God’s business! (Insert sigh of relief, right?) We’re “just” responsible for loving them. (John 15:12)

I’m a little nervous writing this post because it seems that whenever we mere mortals try to encourage others to “do well”, God gives us opportunities to practice it ourselves. What if next week a crotchety old aunt whom I’ve never met appears on my doorstep and wants to stay until Easter? Gulp! Maybe you should pray for me extra…

Personal concerns aside, I hope these tips give you a little boost with your holiday season. And if you like the snippets of “Cousin Agatha” by Arleta Richardson, you may want to check out all the short stories collected in Treasures from Grandma’s Attic.

 

1 Unless otherwise noted, all quotes are taken from Arleta Richardson’s Treasures from Grandma (Colorado Springs: Chariot Victor Publishing, a division of Cook Communications, 1984).

Empty Chairs & Full Hearts

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If Charles Dickens and I had run into each other the other night, we might not have been on the best of terms.

I was thinking about his time-honored tale A Christmas Carol and something in it bothered me.

When Ebenezer Scrooge sees Tiny Tim’s empty chair, it’s just a dream. He can wake up and do something to keep the chair full.

It doesn’t always work that way in real life.

Thinking about yet another Christmas with yet another empty chair is hard. It’s hard even though I got to love the people who sat in those chairs and one of them is empty for an overall happy reason. I don’t claim to know what it’s like for those who have empty chairs that were suddenly made that way. 

But it still could make me not feel like getting out all the Christmas decorations. 

As I keep pondering, I’m realizing that the reality of the empty chair is one more reason to celebrate Christmas. Oh, maybe it doesn’t necessitate lots of decorations or festive flair, but it still calls for a celebration.

After all, Jesus came because of the sin-caused illness and death that rob chairs of their inhabitants. Jesus’ death-conquering life is what we celebrate at Christmas. Christmas reminds us that – for those who believe on the Lord Jesus (Acts 16:30) – someday there will be no more sickness or pain or death or tears (Revelation 21:4).

Illness won’t tear families apart. Pain won’t cause a grandparent-sized gap. Death won’t take little ones before those who love them get to hold them. Tears won’t fall – they will be wiped away by God Himself (Revelation 21:4).

And, in the meantime, Jesus is making our hearts full. 

It’s at Christmas that we may realize this the most, even if the chairs are empty. You see, each one of those empty chairs once held someone I got to love. And I got to be loved by them in sweet – and sometimes quirky – ways. Although their chairs are empty, my heart can be full. 

Even better, Jesus is in the business of filling our hearts up with His love – the only Love that lives up to all those I Corinthians 13 qualities, the only Love that lasts forever, the only Love that was made to meet all our needs and seep into all the cold corners of our hearts a little like hot cocoa seeps into us on chill winter nights.

No, the pain doesn’t all go away. That’s something for Someday. We still will (probably) need to keep Kleenex handy at times. There will still be empty chairs this Christmas. Maybe there will even be new vacancies the next.

But, by God grace, there can be full hearts. And maybe, as Jesus is making our hearts full, He will fill up those chairs, too, with new people to love. 

With all that in mind, perhaps  Charles Dickens and I – if we happened to meet – could actually wish each other a very “Merry Christmas!”

A Grief Novembered

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I’m discovering that grief goes through seasons. That makes sense since it’s intertwined into life, right?

And November is when the frills fade and grief settles down to overcast, bare realities. Note I didn’t say bad realities. The realities are just bare, stripped of the things that hide them or give them a rosy glow at other times of the year.

Today it has been nine months since Grandma passed away. So much has happened that I’d like to tell her about. If I could write her a letter, it would go something like this…

Dear Grandma,

I’ve been missing you more lately. I didn’t know that it would work like that – that I would miss you more later than at first. Maybe it’s because I’ve realized you won’t be here for Thanksgiving pie and I won’t be trying to figure out what to get you for Christmas. A lot of what I miss is getting to chat with you. Whether on the way to church or over our quiches and scones at that little coffee shop or here at home, we did a fair amount of chatting, didn’t we?

I’d like to be able to tell you about the changes in my life. Best of all is the new precious grandbaby. Tiny toes, always-moving hands, sleepy chirps, and kiss-me-please chubby cheeks! It really is true that babies grow so fast. Beyond that, you would love my new group of students. They’re exceptional, and I’m not just biased. I’m learning more about teaching and Spanish. Then there’s my writers’ group. I could probably make a book of stories about the different authors. You’d like reading some of their books. It would be a great way to find some you actually hadn’t read yet! Of course, I’d like to tell you about my own projects like how I’ve been tweaking that one last story I got to read to you and am also working on a new one. The new story involves pies…I guess that won’t surprise you. Then there are little things like how we repainted the bathroom. You might wonder about the combination of “watery” and “lei flower” paint, but, once you hear how it makes me think of the land of alohas and well-loved tales that take place there, you’ll laugh and decide it was a good – or at least ok – idea.

Speaking of laughing, I miss your clever ways of saying things. When you were alone, did you spend time just thinking up what to say to bring smiles to our faces? Some of your growing-up stories were pretty funny, too. You made life as one of seven kids in a pastor’s family sound pretty grand even with the hard times you faced. I’d like to hear those stories again and get to ask you more questions. There are things I never thought to ask you before that now I wish I knew.

It would be great to get your input on some of the decisions I’m working through. Like should we move to Norway and become reindeer ranchers or should we move to Ecuador and live in a house like Swiss Family Robinson? Ok, just kidding! The point is, our family tended to value your judgment on the big things, and I feel a little lost without it sometimes. I also miss asking you to pray for me, hearing you say you will and knowing I could count on it. Not that I don’t have other people who pray for me – it’s just not the same somehow…

That reminds me of something that came up at one of my writers’ meetings. In talking about our audiences, the thought popped up that generally young people today don’t have older mentors in their lives. I realized that that wasn’t true of me. How blessed I have been to have older people like you in my life. People with the time to listen, to laugh, to think and to pray. That’s definitely something to be thankful for, isn’t it?…

I guess that’s what happens when grief – and life – gets “Novembered”: we realize the things that really matter. With the extras blown away, we see, yes, what we’ve lost but also what we’ve been given and for what we can be truly thankful…even through the tears. 

A Life of Loves

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Getting older is like walking down a leaf-lined trail in the woods. Once you’ve gone a ways, you can look back and see where you’ve come from. At least some of the turns start to make sense and you can appreciate with new eyes the wonder of what lies around you. 

You can also start to notice themes throughout your journey. On a walk in the woods, it might be how maple leaves always catch your attention, the frequent scurrying of squirrel paws or the chirp of a certain bird. On the journey of life, it may be the things that have stuck with you through the years, the things that you’re drawn to, the things you love.

Take my Grandpa’s life for instance. After this Nebraska-born man joined the Navy in his teens, everything Navy has held a special place in his heart. First, the Navy itself, then lighthouses, now restoring and building model ships have kept the nautical lines strong in his life. They also extend into something else Grandpa loves.

“I would have thrown it away if you hadn’t taken it,” the jolly old blacksmith told Grandpa as they admired the five-foot, restored pond yacht. The boat had been the blacksmith’s childhood toy but needed some serious repair after being damaged in a tornado and neglected for years. After discovering how much Grandpa likes all things ship related, the blacksmith offered him the boat. Grandpa took on the project and went to work, scraping paint and repainting, studying historic information, crafting new parts, even tying the rat lines himself. After hundreds of hours of labor, the pond yacht was ready, and, oh, is she a beauty now. She represents one of the other things Grandpa loves: fixing things and giving them a new start on life. It makes me think of how God takes on the wreckage of our lives and makes us ready to sail again.

Yet another of Grandpa’s loves is making people laugh. He’s the one you can always count on to tell a joke. But he can tell it with such a straight face, you might take him seriously if you’re not on your toes!

Along with that, he also loves marshmallows and pecan pie and really has such a sweet tooth, we don’t know how he gets by. Maybe it’s because he’s disciplined in other areas of his life. Grandpa’s the one who walked miles in a frozen January when he needed to get in shape. That’s partly why he could walk himself out of the hospital a day after having a hip replacement! He’s also the one who is ready to leave to work ten minutes early. (I know because we used to work together.) All his life – from his job at the brickyard when he was sixteen through now – he’s been willing to put in a good day’s work and do things well. He’s also ready to learn new things (like with the ship models). We know he’ll never really retire until he simply can’t work anymore. You could say work is a love of his, too, though he might not admit it. I think this has been an example to the rest of his family.

But more than ships, lighthouses, repairing old things, jokes, marshmallows, and the satisfaction and pride of a job well done, Grandpa has another love: his family – his wife of 58 years, his children and his grandchildren, his brothers and sisters. Sure, our family isn’t perfect, and I think Grandpa would say he’d do some things differently if he could now, but when push comes to shove, we know Grandpa loves us. 

And that really counts for something because there’s a big difference between pouring time into boats and knots and work and pouring your life into people. All those other things are good and can be used in wonderful ways, but people are eternal. Someday Grandpa will leave those other loves – just like you leave the trees, the squirrels and the bird songs when you leave the woods – but those people he loves on can, by God’s grace, stick with him through eternity. How awesome is that?

I know I’m grateful for the “loves” of Grandpa’s life. They will be a part of the “Grandpa” stories my family will enjoy getting to share with his newest little love – his great-granddaughter.

Grand and great-granddaughter

Happy Birthday, Grandpa! I’m glad to say you are one of my “loves”.

 What about you? What are the “loves” of your life? Are your priorities where you want them to be? It’s not too late to change course and set sail for a different sea. 

 

Passed-Down Partialities: People, Poems, Pianos & Pies

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Not so long ago in a land not too far away, there lived a little girl named Ruthie. She lived on a farm with her father, mother and sisters. They didn’t have much in the way of things, but they were surrounded by generally kind neighbors. Ruthie relished the parties for birthdays and the celebrations for national holidays. She also cared for the neighbors’ children when a helping hand was needed. Along the way, one thing was for sure: Ruthie learned to love people. 

As Ruthie grew up, she discovered another love: music. Finally, she had the opportunity to take a handful of music lessons. That gave her the courage to play both the piano and organ for church!

While she loved people and music, Ruthie also enjoyed time by herself. She didn’t even mind being the one to stay home and clean! (Every family needs a little Dutch-ness, perhaps?) However, she also enjoyed a good story. Her family didn’t have many books, but she read The Best Loved Poems of the American People. Perhaps the rhythm of the words struck a chord with her music-loving heart. At any rate, she kept that book for decades to come.

Even after grown-up Ruth left her small hometown, her partialities perpetuated. People, pianos and poems continued to be parts of her life. She also carried sweet memories with her. Remember those parties with the neighbors? Ruth couldn’t help but share the stories, especially about the pies! Mrs. Cacak always baked such wonderful pies! As Ruth traveled far and wide, maybe pie became like a taste of home.

Lo and behold, one day Ruth found that she had become a grandma! Where had the years gone? Well, whether on purpose or not, Ruth passed down her partialities to the next generation. She showered the new little people in her life with love and showed them how to love other children. Once they started taking piano lessons, she played and sang along, imparting her interest in hymns. She shared her book of poems. And, lastly, she offered the stories of her childhood, including the palate-pleasing pies.

Have you ever wondered over how God weaves our lives together? Isn’t it amazing how He even carries on the work from generation to generation? I think Ruth’s story is a good illustration.

You see, I am one of Ruth’s granddaughters. Her passed-down partialities have had a huge impact on my life. I hope to carry on her love for people, especially children. If she hadn’t played piano in church, I might not have either! It was with her Best Loved Poems of the American People  that I spent happy hours, and now I post about poems on my blog. And if she hadn’t shared sweet memories with me, I may not have been as inspired to bake pies a-plenty.

This is why younger people like me need older people like my grandma. They give us perspective and pass down passions and pastimes. And, from what I’ve seen, older folks need us young chicks to remind them that their decisions affect others and they need to be thoughtful about what they value. Certainly, there are many other things – even beginning with “p” – that Grandma could have invested in and that could have made my life much different. So if you’re an older person, please consider your ways well and seek out someone with whom to share your gifts. And if you’re a younger person, watch for what you can learn from the older people in your life. Won’t it be wonderful to see what God’s masterpiece looks like someday when we get to see His woven work?

Thank you, Grandma, for passing down these things to me. I’m glad you enjoyed the cherry and raspberry pie I was able to make for your birthday! You know the secret ingredient, don’t you? Love.

Grandma's Birthday Pie

Raspberry Ramblings

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Ah-hah! There was another bright red berry. Alice’s pink-stained fingers plucked it and placed it – point up – in the wooden crate in her other hand. Through the bushes, she caught a glimpse of her nine-year-old brother’s face. Tattle-tale red spots stood out on his chin.

“Maurice! Quit eating the berries!” Alice squawked. 

“It was just a squishy one! And I’m hungry.”

Alice sighed. She glanced over her shoulder. They were only three rows into the raspberry patch. It seemed like they had a hundred to go. Two of her older sisters were working their way through from the patch’s other side. At first, that had seemed like a good idea. Now Alice wasn’t so sure. “Well, just make sure you only eat the squishy ones,” she reminded. 

Alice and Maurice kept going for a few minutes. Then Maurice said, “I’m hot.”

“I’d tell you to quit complaining, but I’m hot, too. I’d sure like to be fishing right now.”

Suddenly, Alice found herself in the shade of a big shadow. Even before she looked up, she smiled. She knew that shadow. 

“How’s it going here?” Alice and Maurice’s sixteen-year-old brother Dan asked as he stopped next to them.

“We’re hot,” Alice said.

“And hungry,” Maurice added.

“Hungry? How many pancakes did you eat for breakfast?” Dan reached over the raspberry canes and ruffled Maurice’s hair. “Well,” Dan got a berry box from the little wagon next to Alice, “why don’t I help you two out for a while?”

“That’d be swell!” the twosome chimed. 

“I’ll go ahead of you, Maurice. You can get the berries that I miss.” He winked at Alice as he stepped over the row and started picking.  

Alice grinned. If she had to pick a favorite out of her six brothers and sisters, she was pretty sure it would be Dan.

While they kept picking, Dan reported on the baby animals he had cared for that morning, and they laughed when he told about the wobbly lambs and the crazy chickens.

Just then, Alice spotted red farther in than she usually had to reach. Her small hand wriggled through the brambles, trying to avoid the prickly points, but when she pulled her hand out two small scratches showed where the canes had gotten the best of her.

“Why did God have to make raspberry bushes with thorns on them?” she asked.

Dan answered from the other side of the row, “I don’t think I know the exact answer, but I’d say it’s because of sin.”

“Like Dad says?” Maurice asked.

“Yeah,” Dan said. “And like the Bible says. But, you know, a lot of things in life are like raspberries. If you aren’t willing to work to get them, and maybe suffer a little, you might miss out on something really sweet.”

Alice pressed her lips together as she reached for another deeply-hung berry. This time she didn’t even look for scratches. Still, she sighed, “I used to like berry-picking, but we’ve been out here every day this week, and I’m tired of it.”

“Me too,” Maurice agreed. “Hey, but Dan’s here, and he doesn’t even have to be!” 

“That’s ‘cause he’s Dan, and he’s just plain nice,” Alice said.

Dan laughed. “Well, it is true that sometimes you just do things because you love people. Just think about how nice it is that we can actually sell these for money – “

“Even with the Depression going on,” Alice added.

“Right. And how Mom and Dad appreciate it that you’re helping,” Dan continued. “They do a lot for us after all.”

Alice pursed her lips and thought on that as they kept picking.

After a while, Dan straightened up. “I hate to say this, but I’ve got to go into town.”

Alice started to say she wished she could go with him but changed her mind. “All right. Thanks for the help!”

“Hey, thanks for your help, Stump,” Dan said, patting her head. “You, too, Maurice.”

Alice wrinkled her nose, Dan was the only person who could still call her “Stump” and get away with it.

“Tell you what, if you keep working on these, I’ll take you fishing on Saturday. How does that sound?”

“Really, Dan?” Alice’s blue eyes danced.

“Sure thing! If it’s raining, we’ll come up with something else. And, Maurice, if you can tell Mom that you haven’t eaten any of the sell-able berries from now till suppertime, I’ll have a treat from town for you.”

“Hmmm,” Maurice thought. “I’d really like that.”

“It’s a deal then. I’ll bring something for you, too, Stump.” He winked at Alice again and then went off on his long legs.

This scene is from my imagination, but it’s based on real-life stories. I’m interrupting my series on the War for Independence because today is a special day. Today would have been my Grandma Alice’s birthday. 

Grandma often recounted to us how painstaking raspberry picking seemed in her childhood as she and her siblings had to carefully place each berry – point up – in a box. However, she was grateful for the raspberries because they were one of the few crops her minister-farmer’s family could sell for money during the Great Depression. She also shared how her older brother Dan watched out for her, and that she really did have to endure the nickname “Stump”. (That’s another story for another time.) Her love of fishing continued into her grandmothering years. 

With those details, I imagined the above exchanges and actions. I could imagine further on that Grandma never forgot Dan’s words about reaching for the raspberries and doing things out of love for others. As Alice grew up, much of her life reflected those two themes. She sacrificed many times both to attain a goal and for family and friends. Her kind words, funny jokes and rambles down Remembrance Lane sweetened up lives like raspberries on vanilla ice cream. 

The thing is that we can’t have real love for others anymore than we can single-handedly make raspberries grow! If the ability to identify and give others-first love comes from the field of a human heart, it will shrivel up eventually. It needs a deeper root so to speak. As Grandma learned along the way, that Root is the God of love, Jesus (I John 4:8, 2 Corinthians 13:11, John 15:12). Awesomely, He’s also the One Who makes raspberries grow! (Colossians 1:16-17, Genesis 1)

So next time you’re rambling down a raspberry row or relishing a raspberry cobbler, maybe it would be a good time to reflect on God’s love for us and to recognize the sweet gifts He has given us – like Grandmas and raspberries. They may only be with us for a season, but the memories they give us continue to offer a harvest.