Tag: encouragement

A Note of Encouragement for Every Girl Heading Back to School 2016

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Dear School-Bound Girl,

Here we are again. You’re heading back to school….Can you believe it? Neither can I! 

You said you’re super-excited and stepping-on-egg-shells nervous all mixed together. I’ve got some good news: most heroines of adventures have the same mix of emotions as they start on their journeys!

Ok, so maybe you aren’t thinking of another school year as a book-worthy adventure. But the truth is, there are similarities. Like all adventures, this year is going to have its own calms, highs and lows. After all, it wouldn’t be much of an adventure if you just sailed through on glassy seas, would it? I mean, who would want to read a book like this: “It all started when Molly went to school. From the first day, everything went perfectly swell for her.” Not much thrill in that is there? But if it begins with, “It all started when Molly went to school. From the first day, everything went perfectly swell for her. Everything, that is, except…” Now you’re left wondering, aren’t you?

Don’t misunderstand; I want you to have those calm seas where you can take a deep breath, feel the gentle breezes and just draw in your journal because words aren’t needed. I also want you to have those mountaintop moments that put a smile on your face and a spring in your step and that you scribble about in your journal because you want to savor each sweet second forever! I pray you’ll have the very best of both tranquil and terrific times. May they be sprinkled over your school year like sprinkles on a sundae. 

But you’re going to come across those low moments, too, dear girl. Those moments that make you reach for the Kleenex box, leave salty spots on your journal pages and that you might even want to erase from your life. As hard as it is to understand, you are given those moments just like a heroine in a book. Perhaps God will use them to grow you, to move your story forward or to give you a heart prepared to comfort other hurting hearts. While knowing that may not help when you’re swamped in a school-year-sadness, hang in there. Maybe it really will help to know that I’ve prayed that God will be closest to you in those tear-stained times. King David lived through dozens of dark days that drew him closer to God. Those days gave us the Psalms. Not a bad outcome of that story, right?

You mentioned that you’re dreading having to study again. First of all, I don’t blame you one little bit. This sure has been a lovely summer! I may seem old now, but I still remember my own school days pretty clearly. While it’s true that I usually loved to learn new things – writers are always having to be curious! – I did have my fair share of dread-bound days when the last thing I wanted to do was crack the cover of a school book. How should a girl handle severe summer-induced study-itis? A snippet from Anne Shirley of Green Gables comes to mind. After deciding to study to become a teacher,  Anne tells Marilla, 

“I shall take more interest than ever in my studies now…because I have a purpose in life. Mr. Allan [the minister at Anne’s church whose wife is a good friend of Anne’s} says that everybody should have a purpose in life and pursue it faithfully. Only he says we must first make sure that it is a worthy purpose….” [1]

I think Anne’s really on to something here. A well-grounded purpose gives us an extra push in the right direction. Perhaps you could consider a purpose for your studies this year. Not just “to get to the next grade”, but something that goes beyond yourself.  Need an idea? You know I love to give ideas!

This year I’m going to really learn so that I can…

  1. Be on my way to becoming a (teacher, doctor, business owner, etc.)
  2. Help my parents someday when they are old.
  3. Give my younger siblings a hand in getting a good education. (That’s what Grandma Alice’s older siblings did.)
  4. Invent ______________. 
  5. Teach my children someday. 
  6. Be ready for whatever adventures God has ahead of me and listen to Proverbs 3:13-14 (ESV), “Blessed is the one who finds wisdom, and the one who gets understanding, for the gain from her is better than gain from silver and her profit better than gold.” 

Of course, don’t forget Mr. Allan’s advice; make sure your purpose is a worthy one. Check in with God about it. Then, if you’re like me, coming up with a purpose isn’t enough because it’s so easy to forget good resolutions. Why not write down your purpose and post it in different places where you’ll see it often like by your desk or on your computer? Hmmm. I’m thinking I need to do this with a few of my goals. Practicing what I preach would be good, wouldn’t it?

So there you go, dear friend. I hope that’s an encouragement. Let me know how it goes, won’t you? The picture-worthy days, the smile-wearing days, the tear-wiping days…You know I’m always up for listening to a story. And as you sail into this new installment in the adventure series Of Your Life, don’t forget that somebody (yours truly!) has prayed for you.

Hugs & Blessings,  

~Kristi

1 L.M. Montgomery, Anne of Green Gables (New York: Alfred A. Knopf, Inc., 1995), 313-314. An Everyman’s Library children’s classic edition.

Seeing Grace

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They said, “It takes quite a guy to see the things he’s seen and to be the way he is.” 

In a way, that was true. Nobody would pay to see some of the things he’d seen – except for maybe on a movie screen with a happy ending thrown in.

They said he was the kind of guy they were glad to know – “a good guy”,

In a way, that was true. After all, he’d done okay in life if that’s what you call living honest, raising a family, leaving a legacy.

But, when it came down to brass tacks, he knew they were missing the point. It wasn’t about him being “quite a guy” or anything about him being “good”. 

It was about grace. A grace that had sought him and that he had sought. God’s grace.

But they didn’t see it.

How often do we miss the grace in our lives? Maybe we don’t see it because we don’t see it in the rocky places – we miss the cactus blooms among the wilderness. Maybe we either attribute it to something else or choose to be blind to it like the aforementioned observers. 

Instead of being like them, may we be like Lace Harper in Come Rain or Come Shine… 

“And now, all this – the wedding, the farm, everyone being together like family. A lot of times it seems like a dream, but I know what it is. It’s grace. Totally.” [1]

Yes, Lace Harper is a bride-to-be with a bouquet of joy, but that same bride-to-be is the girl who watched her mother die, stayed as far away as she could from her abusive father, struggled with the emotions of being adopted, studied to be an artist yet struggled to find a job because of “the economy”, found out that she would never have her children of her own…. Perhaps if anyone has a reason to miss grace, she does. Yet she sees dreams-come-true as other than the product of wishing on a star. She sees grace. 

Ok. So she’s a fictitious character. I’ve learned a lot from people who live only within the covers of a book, haven’t you? 

O Lord, give us eyes to see the gifts and dreams-come-true in our lives as Your work. May we not be blind. Come Rain or Come Shine, may we see grace.

[1] Come Rain or Come Shine: A Mitford Novel by Jan Karon, narrated by John McDonough (Penguin Audio, 2015) CD 2, track 4, 3:04.

Dear Caregiver

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Dear Caregiver,

I’m thinking of you this morning. Maybe you’re repeating yourself for the thirteenth time, heading out to a doctor’s appointment, answering yet another urgent phone call, preparing a meal, cleaning up, or catching a few rare moments of quiet. You might be a daughter, a son, a mother, a father, a wife, a husband, a nurse, a hospice worker, or an aid. Maybe you’re caring for someone in your own family, or perhaps you never knew this person existed until you were given their name. It’s possible you’re loving what you do. On the other hand, maybe you’re feeling like any joy has been zapped from your to-do’s.

However your story reads at this moment, I want to tell you something: Thank you. Thank you for caring enough to go the extra mile, to do the dirty work when necessary, to simply be there. I’ve seen some of you in action, and I know you have a big job. I know that to do it well takes patience, selflessness and self-control. I also know what a blessing it is to families like mine to have another set of capable hands ready to help and another kind heart to care. 

You live in a world that tempts everyone to value production over people, but your work stands in contrast to that. Those you serve may not be able to produce much of monetary value, but you value them anyway. Thus, you invest every day in something that lasts for eternity – living souls. For all of this and so much more, I’m grateful for you. Whether you feel like you deserve it or not, thank you.

I’m also praying for you this morning. From my experience, I’ve seen that your days can be filled with sad pictures. I’m praying that God will give you sunny blessings in the midst of grey skies. Your work may be wearing on your heart and your health. I’m praying that God will guard your heart, strengthen your hands, and give you refreshing sleep. And for those nights when you’re awakened yet again, I’m praying that His joy will be your strength to get you through another day. On the days when you feel like you have a thankless, unnoticed job, I’m praying that you’ll remember that not everyone whom Jesus helped thanked Him either and that – no matter where you are – He sees what you’re doing right now. If your cup is empty, I’m praying that God will make it overflow. When you’re the one who needs comfort but you have to give it instead, I’m praying that you’ll remember that the God of all comfort values your tears (Ps. 56:8) and is right there with you. I’m praying that when you need it most, He will give you the tender words you need, whether for yourself or someone else.

And maybe it will help a little to know that today someone is thinking of, thankful for and praying for you.

Hugs&Blessings,

Kristen

P.S. Yes, I really did pray for you this morning!

I have been blessed to share some thoughts on A Little Bit Older, a website dedicated to encouraging Christ-like love for and life with the elderly. About a year ago, I posted this letter to caregivers. It touched enough hearts that I thought there might be more caregivers who could use the same encouragement today.

When Cousin Agatha Comes Calling: Tips for Dealing with Difficult Relatives over the Holidays

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When Cousin Agatha practically invites herself to the O’Dell family’s Thanksgiving, most of them welcome her. What could possibly be bad about letting a solitary old woman into your home, right?

The holidays are known for surprises. In the O’Dells case, the surprise of Cousin Agatha isn’t so sweet. 

By the end of Thanksgiving dinner, Mabel O’Dell and her family are worn out by Cousin Agatha’s demanding ways. Then she announces that she thinks she’ll stay until Christmas!

As Mabel confides in her friend Sarah Jane, she’s pretty sure that if Cousin Agatha stays, she herself will “just die,” [1] rather than live that long with this woman who wants to see everyone else working but won’t lift a finger herself.

Have you ever been in Mabel’s shoes? For all the wonderful wonders of the Christmas season, it is also sometimes a wonder that many of us have to face our most challenging relatives during this season that is heralded as a time of joy and peace.

How do you handle them without losing your mind? 

I think the story of “Cousin Agatha” by Arleta Richardson offers some helpful tips.

  1. Take one day at a time. For Mabel O’Dell, looking ahead to a whole month of Cousin Agatha is unbearable. Her mother offers some sound advice. “The Lord only sends us one day at a time…Don’t worry about more than that. When the other days arrive, you’ll probably find out you worried about all the wrong things.” She has a good point, right? If you don’t think you can stand a week with Uncle Arnold, just make it through day by day. Something else I’ve learned is that the middle of any stretch of time is almost always the hardest, whether it’s five days or a month. Once you make it through the middle, you can usually make it to the end.
  2. Don’t feel compelled to cater to their every whim or want. When Cousin Agatha complains about poor old Pep the dog coming into the house to escape the winter chill, Ma doesn’t flap her apron and make him trot out the door. She calmly explains the situation and lets Cousin Agatha grumble to herself. The tricky part is to continue both keeping your cool and standing your ground. It’s good to remember that one of the most loving two-letter words you can say to someone might very well be “no” if it’s said in a loving way.
  3. Speaking of love, why not love your unpleasant relations “to death”? While Mabel’s friend Sarah Jane suggests that she herself might consider giving Cousin Agatha a little encouragement to leave, Mabel remembers her dad’s view that “Christian love is the best solution.” Sarah Jane’s response? “All right, then…Love her to death.” Okay, so that may sound a little paradoxical, but I think it illuminates an interesting fact: Sometimes we can love people to the point that their crabby, Scrooge-ish ways just lay down and die. Of course, that’s a lot easier said than done.
  4. One thing that might help is to try to understand where they’re coming from. Of course, some people are just creepy, but othen times there are reasons beneath the ice. Maybe that grandparent who acts like an unchanged Grinch isn’t a Christian? Well, don’t expect him to act like one! What if your mother-in-law had a terrible childhood? Acknowledging in your own head how hard that could be might give you an extra ounce of compassion. Is your brother super-stressed over his job (or lack thereof)? imagine if you were in his shoes. In Mabel’s case, she thankfully gets a little help from a snowstorm.

When Cousin Agatha has to face the fact that something – the snow  that’s snowing them in – is outside of her control, it rocks her world. Mabel is then able to see a little glimmer of the inside Cousin Agatha – a lonely, insecure old woman.

Then a remarkable thing happens.

Mabel gives this female Scrooge a hug and a peck on the cheek.

What is really remarkable is Cousin Agatha’s response, “That’s the first time anyone has hugged me since I can remember. Do you really like me, Mabel?”

Ah, now we see. Cousin Agatha may not be a very nice person, but it’s not all without reason. Imagine not being able to remember the last time you got a hug! Having lived in a Latin American culture where we give hugs (and kisses on the cheek!) all the time, I think not being able to remember your last hug would be sad indeed. 

It’s a good reminder, isn’t it? Perhaps lathering on the kindness and concern – like a little kid putting frosting on a gingerbread man – could very well change the whole person into a new creation. (Frosting certainly can do astounding things to gingerbread men!)

In Cousin Agatha’s case, we aren’t given the rest of the story. That is, we don’t know whether Cousin Agatha really does change or whether she sinks back into her self-centered gloom. We don’t get to see how the O’Dells’ Christmas turns out.

That might be just as well. After all, Christians aren’t called to change people. That’s God’s business! (Insert sigh of relief, right?) We’re “just” responsible for loving them. (John 15:12)

I’m a little nervous writing this post because it seems that whenever we mere mortals try to encourage others to “do well”, God gives us opportunities to practice it ourselves. What if next week a crotchety old aunt whom I’ve never met appears on my doorstep and wants to stay until Easter? Gulp! Maybe you should pray for me extra…

Personal concerns aside, I hope these tips give you a little boost with your holiday season. And if you like the snippets of “Cousin Agatha” by Arleta Richardson, you may want to check out all the short stories collected in Treasures from Grandma’s Attic.

 

1 Unless otherwise noted, all quotes are taken from Arleta Richardson’s Treasures from Grandma (Colorado Springs: Chariot Victor Publishing, a division of Cook Communications, 1984).

A Little Lift: The Gift of Shared Comfort for a Snail-Mail Saturday

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The other day, I received this darling card from a friend. The little yellow house is sailing through the cloud-cluttered sky thanks to the mountain of  colorful balloons. Who wouldn’t have their spirits lifted by a card like that? But what makes me smile even more is on the inside…

This particular friend knew about a recent, potentially challenging event in my life – something that she herself has experienced. Because of sharing this reality, she was ready with empathy and encouragement for me. What were her words? Here is a portion of the verse that she shared with me: 

“…steadfast love surrounds the one who trusts in the Lord.” (Psalm 32:10, ESV)

Ah, Isn’t there something especially special about knowing that (even in a small way) someone understands what you’re going through? Doesn’t it often seem like someone who has been through whatever you’re facing is best equipped to help you? 

Maybe one of the reasons God gives us the tough stuff in our lives is so we will be equipped to comfort others. Like 2 Corinthians 1 says, as we go through hard times, God  comforts us (like through that verse!) so that we can offer that same gift to others. I find it soul strengthening to know that God has a redemptive plan that goes beyond ourselves. While suffering can draw us closer to Him, He can also use it to help us draw others to Him. It takes a great God to do something like that. 

I’m thankful for this sister in Christ who acted out that truth for me this week. What about you? When was a time a friend spread a little knowing comfort over you? Or on whom could you lavish a little of the comfort you’ve been given? If you’re the crafty type like my friend, you may even be able to make a sure-to-bring-a-smile card to pop in the mailbox. Whether we make this a Snail-Mail Saturday or write a text, make a call, or stop by to give a heart-to-heart hug, let’s keep our eyes open for opportunities to share the comfort we’ve been given and to give others a lift. Maybe you feel that all the comfort you can give is one balloon’s worth of boost. Never mind. After all, most people probably don’t really want their houses to take off…But you never know! You might end up giving someone a boost into a fanciful adventure that sweeps you right along, too, up, up and away! I think I saw a movie kind of like that once…

Worth the Tears: The Story of a Struggling Reader

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 As Katie stared at the bold black letters on the page, tears dripped down her cheeks. Her teacher wasn’t surprised. This was the daily routine.

Every day they worked on reading together. It seemed like it was never going to get easier. Katie wondered why her teacher couldn’t just read to her; she liked listening to stories! Learning to read on her own, however, seemed just painful. 

It wasn’t that Katie’s teacher hadn’t laid a good foundation. They had gone over phonics thoroughly.  Still, only three-letter words seemed hard. Katie’s dramatic emotions didn’t help. She even declared that she didn’t want to read. And every day the tears came.

Thankfully, Katie’s teacher could see beyond the surface. Katie’s conflict ran deeper than letters and sounds. Unlike some children, Katie’s greater struggle to read wasn’t brought on by letters moving backwards in her head or a non-verbal bent. A big part of Katie’s struggle was that she couldn’t see. The letters blurred together, not just because of her tears and even with the best glasses she could get. Along with that, Katie was learning a lesson even harder than reading: Because of her vision issues, she was different from other kids her age. While they might fight to remember when an e is silent, she might fight to simply see that it was an e and not a c. That realization hurt. Of course, the fact that she could see at all was something to be thankful for, but a six-year-old’s life isn’t always governed by logic. (Actually, no one’s is…)

Knowing all that, her teacher did battle with her and those BOB books. Sure, she probably pulled out her hair a few times and even shed a few frustrated tears of her own, but she wanted Katie to read normal print books if she ever could.

Mercifully, the teacher got a little help. A gentleman read to Katie on a regular basis. She had been read to before – that’s how she knew she liked hearing stories –  but as the days went by she slowly discovered that books were her ticket to adventures and the places and people she wanted to learn about. She just had to take hold of it.

Months of tedium and tears continued. Then one day, all the pieces came together. Katie decided she wanted to take hold of her ticket to adventure and board the train herself. There were so many people and places she wanted to learn about! She also figured out that if she could get up early and snuggle into her favorite blue chair, she had the perfect place to read. There was no one to mind that she held the book two inches away from her nose. She read books like the Little House series that she had loved listening to and new mysteries She felt rather satisfied when she read a biography of Daniel Boone that had hundreds of pages. Lessons in Braille fed her new-found love for letters, even though she continued to read mostly with her eyes

And she kept reading. Through two international moves, junior high, high school, and right on through college when she gained her BA. By this time Katie knew that she relished stories. Even more than that, she knew that she loved God’s story.

You see, Katie had been given a key to not only escapades and faraway places but also to God’s Word, another book she read for herself. Within those pages, she learned that God doesn’t make mistakes and that even if we don’t understand why He gives us certain circumstances and life may be just plain hard, He is worthy of our trust. Stories from history that she read gave her hope that God can use even the challenges in our lives for good purposes.

Now Katie still reads – though not as much as she might like – and contacts help her see better, but she also seeks to share stories with others to give them at least a glimpse of the hope she’s been given. 

Maybe not every struggling reader will be like Katie. Maybe God has other stories to tell in some of their lives. But, for all of you who are or will be traipsing through tedium and tears this school year, I hope it’s an encouragement. Teaching a child to read – to whatever extent he or she is able – is a great gift. You never know what God might have in store for your student. I think Katie and her teacher decided it was worth the tears, don’t you?

And just who was Katie’s teacher? Of all the people in the whole wide world, it was her mom. And the gentleman who read to her? He was her dad. 

I should know because I am Katie. Funny how a girl by any other name can be-one-and-the-same, isn’t it? And, yes, I’d say it was worth the tears. I’m thankful Mom and Dad thought so, too. 

 

Dear School-Bound Girl…

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Dear School-Bound Girl,

Here we are again. You’re heading back to school….Can you believe it? Neither can I! 

You said you’re super-excited and stepping-on-egg-shells nervous all mixed together. I’ve got some good news: most heroines of adventures have the same mix of emotions as they start on their journeys!

Ok, so maybe you aren’t thinking of another school year as a book-worthy adventure. But the truth is, there are similarities. Like all adventures, this year is going to have its own calms, highs and lows. After all, it wouldn’t be much of an adventure if you just sailed through on glassy seas, would it? I mean, who would want to read a book like this: “It all started when Molly went to school. From the first day, everything went perfectly swell for her.” Not much thrill in that is there? But if it begins with, “It all started when Molly went to school. From the first day, everything went perfectly swell for her. Everything, that is, except…” Now you’re left wondering, aren’t you?

Don’t misunderstand; I want you to have those calm seas where you can take a deep breath, feel the gentle breezes and just draw in your journal because words aren’t needed. I also want you to have those mountaintop moments that put a smile on your face and a spring in your step and that you scribble about in your journal because you want to savor each sweet second forever! I pray you’ll have the very best of both tranquil and terrific times. May they be sprinkled over your school year like sprinkles on a sundae. 

But you’re going to come across those low moments, too, dear girl. Those moments that make you reach for the Kleenex box, leave salty spots on your journal pages and that you might even want to erase from your life. As hard as it is to understand, you are given those moments just like a heroine in a book. Perhaps God will use them to grow you, to move your story forward or to give you a heart prepared to comfort other hurting hearts. While knowing that may not help when you’re swamped in a school-year-sadness, hang in there. Maybe it really will help to know that I’ve prayed that God will be closest to you in those tear-stained times. King David lived through dozens of dark days that drew him closer to God. Those days gave us the Psalms. Not a bad outcome of that story, right?

You mentioned that you’re dreading having to study again. First of all, I don’t blame you one little bit. This sure has been a lovely summer! I may seem old now, but I still remember my own school days pretty clearly. While it’s true that I usually loved to learn new things – writers are always having to be curious! – I did have my fair share of dread-bound days when the last thing I wanted to do was crack the cover of a school book. How should a girl handle severe summer-induced study-itis? A snippet from Anne Shirley of Green Gables comes to mind. After deciding to study to become a teacher,  Anne tells Marilla,

“I shall take more interest than ever in my studies now…because I have a purpose in life. Mr. Allan [the minister at Anne’s church whose wife is a good friend of Anne’s} says that everybody should have a purpose in life and pursue it faithfully. Only he says we must first make sure that it is a worthy purpose….” [1]

I think Anne’s really on to something here. A well-grounded purpose gives us an extra push in the right direction. Perhaps you could consider a purpose for your studies this year. Not just “to get to the next grade”, but something that goes beyond yourself.  Need an idea? You know I love to give ideas!

This year I’m going to really learn so that I can…

  1. Be on my way to becoming a (teacher, doctor, business owner, etc.)
  2. Help my parents someday when they are old.
  3. Give my younger siblings a hand in getting a good education. (That’s what Grandma Alice’s older siblings did.)
  4. Invent ______________. 
  5. Teach my children someday. 
  6. Be ready for whatever adventures God has ahead of me and listen to Proverbs 3:13-14 (ESV), “Blessed is the one who finds wisdom, and the one who gets understanding, for the gain from her is better than gain from silver and her profit better than gold.” 

Of course, don’t forget Mr. Allan’s advice; make sure your purpose is a worthy one. Check in with God about it. Then, if you’re like me, coming up with a purpose isn’t enough because it’s so easy to forget good resolutions. Why not write down your purpose and post it in different places where you’ll see it often like by your desk or on your computer? Hmmm. I’m thinking I need to do this with a few of my goals. Practicing what I preach would be good, wouldn’t it?

So there you go, dear friend. I hope that’s an encouragement. Let me know how it goes, won’t you? The picture-worthy days, the smile-wearing days, the tear-wiping days…You know I’m always up for listening to a story. And as you sail into this new installment in the adventure series Of Your Life, don’t forget that somebody (yours truly!) has prayed for you.

Hugs & Blessings,  

~Kristen    

1 L.M. Montgomery, Anne of Green Gables (New York: Alfred A. Knopf, Inc., 1995), 313-314. An Everyman’s Library children’s classic edition.